The Women - It's all about men

Growing up, I would watch old classic movies. The glamour, the drama, I was hooked. One of the movies was The Women, with the classic tagline, It’s all about men! A 1930’s film about marriage, adultery, divorce, and remarriage. Not really thinking much of it other than how glamorous Joan Crawford and Rosalind Russell were. Desperately wishing I could wear a hat, tailored dress and heels everyday.  A classic line from the original is “A woman’s compromised the day she’s born.”

That’s a lot to think about. When I was young and watching this movie I didn’t really understand what that meant. Now, part of me believes that’s completely true. Why do I believe it? Because I continually compromise myself and for what? The idea that my life is a 1930's movie where the right thing to do it stand by the one you love.

In 2008, I was only two years into my relationship that would continue on and off for another eight years and The Women was remade with Meg Ryan. Of course I had to watch it because my love for the original and again, didn’t think much of it. Except that I wish I had Meg Ryan’s glorious long, blonde, curly hair. Fast forward to 2017, I was at target looking for an old movie to watch and there was a $5 movie pack of Meg Ryan movies. It included You’ve Got Mail, and two other movies that were in her early career and then The Women.

I had completely forgotten about this movie and if you haven’t watched it, please do. This time I watched it. I was upset. Not just because I still didn’t have Meg Ryan’s glorious hair but that women endure so much pain because of men. I had endured so much pain from my ex. I was cheated on, lied to, ignored, and manipulated. All this pain that I had pushed down, came rushing back.

That classic line. “I messed up.”

Doesn’t that line just make you cringe? I’ve always battled with questions that I ask myself after watching movies like these. Are the strong women the ones who move on and say fuck it to the man? Or are the strong ones the women who work through pain and choose to continue to love unconditionally and forgive?

Women choose to do both and in this movie at the end, it suggests that Meg Ryan’s character gives Steven, the cheater, another chance. This made me question everything. Why? Is that right? Did they last? Could she really forgive him? Could he really be loyal? Total mind fuck. Every time.

First off, I think all women are strong whether they choose to say fuck off or decided to stand next to the man they love. There is respect to each of those choices because I understand it. I may not always agree with it or think people deserve it but isn’t that what love is? Loving those who do not deserve it at times. I would want someone to love me through my mistakes but could they? Could I?

It’s always a battle within me. I try to see the good and constantly get let down but that doesn’t mean I should just give up. Is it because I’ve watched too many 1930 movies, where every couple works through everything? Or is it because I know I am not perfect and want to love someone in the same way that I might need to be loved one day. It’s a hard battle and yes, I know there are a lot of psychologists and therapists who have all these theories but just for once I don’t want reality and just want a 1930’s movie to be my life. Comical, forgiving, and full of love that includes a happy ending.

- Looking for my 1930’s movie that includes a pineapple.

KM