"The Protagonist"

As you get older, everyone starts talking about personality traits. Who are you? Why do you react a certain way or process things differently? After recently listening to Reading People: How Seeing the World Through the Lens of Personality Changes Everything by Anne Bogel, I decided to learn more about who I was. What role did my personality traits play in my relationships and how did it affecte the way I communicate?

The first test I took was HSP. If you score 14 or higher you are a highly sensitive person.

A highly sensitive person (HSP) experiences the world differently than others. Due to a biological difference that they're born with, HSP’s are more aware of subtleties and process information deeply. I scored a 20. This made me realize that I wasn’t overly dramatic about my feelings. I just feel certain things at a deeper level. Making it at times, hard to connect with other individuals. At 30, this small test helped me feel more confident in who I was as a person and what I had to offer others and that a lot of my feelings are validated, I just often process them differently.

The next test I took was the 16 Personalities Test based off the Myers-Briggs theory. If you haven’t taken it, I recommend it. You really learn a lot about yourself. I did. I am “The Protagonist”, an ENFJ, if you really want to get into the details.

ENFJs are around 2% of the population and labeled natural-born leaders, full of passion and charisma. Often looking to inspire others to achieve and to do good in the world. With a natural confidence, ENFJs take a great deal of pride and joy in guiding others to work together to improve themselves and their community. This is probably why I am so extreme about self-growth! Grow people, grow!

 

Please remember there is no right or wrong personality type. We are all unique and have wonderful things to contribute and still have flaws. Here are my some of my traits as an ENFJ

Strengths

• Tolerant
• Charismatic
• Altruistic
• Natural Leaders

Weaknesses

• Overly Idealistic
• Too Sensitive *Goes along with my highly sensitive trait.
• Fluctuating Self-Esteem
• Struggle to Make Tough Decisions

ENFJs take all relationships seriously and are in it for the long haul. At times, they even sacrificing their own principles to keep the peace. This is something I am trying to work on because it’s not maintainable and in the end, I compromise too much of myself. We (ENFJs) believe that the only true happiness is mutual happiness, and that’s the stuff successful relationships are made of.

I got my degree in Elementary Education and created a career in the nonprofit sector. All industries that the Protagonist thrive in! It’s nice feeling like I am where I am supposed to be and doing what I excel at. ENFJs have great social skills, emotional intelligence and tendency to be “that person who knows everybody”. Also, quick learners and excellent multitaskers, hardworking, reliable and eager to help.

So how does this play in my current relationships? I am more self-aware about how I am reacting. Why I am reacting and how to communicate that in a proactive way. I am more enthusiastic about what motivates me because I feel the positive energy growing and moving me into the right direction. I asked family members and friends to take the test so that I could better understand them. It’s allowed me to manage my expectations better and in return build strong relationships. Having a better understanding of myself has given my the confidence to voice my feelings to those around my without fear of rejection. I am trying to embrace all of me. The pretty parts and the messy parts. I see both parts in all my relationships and for so long tired to change parts of myself that I just can't change and I don't want to anymore.

I will continue to push, encourage, overreact, and immerse myself in all my relationships as usual. Now, I am able to shut out those who are trying to change me to fit their personality, when they should be accepting of who I am. Being able to identify with other personalities and communication also leads into understanding your Love Language but that's a whole different post.

I encourage you to take the tests. Ask yourself the hard questions about who you are and the role it plays in peoples lives. Please feel free to share your results! I would love to hear about what your traits are and how it’s changed your perception of who you are. Hopefully it will also help you grow your relationships.

- To the pineapples who believe in growth and self-love.

KM “The Protagonist”